why i only have 3 jobs

nov. 24, 2025

i used to have four jobs. two retail associate positions, a hostess role, and a midnight shift at a gym. i quit the gym after the first week.

on my first day, i learned i would be the only female working the gym during the midnight shift, from 10 pm to 4 am. i was confused. this wasn’t a daytime role. this was overnight, alone. the risks were listed quickly. homeless people coming in and out. the possibility of harassment. the gym’s location near a highway and the likelihood of car break ins. it was presented as normal, as something to absorb and move past. i remember standing there, nodding, trying to understand where caution ended and expectation began. i couldn’t tell if this was meant to scare me or prepare me. it was framed as valuable experience, something that would teach me real life situations. and part of me understood that. life is uncomfortable. work isn’t always easy. but there’s a difference between learning and being exposed. none of this was unexpected or rare. it was expected. normalized. and there was no real protection offered, just the assumption that i would deal with it. that i would adapt. that i would stay quiet and capable. over the next few days, i learned more about the space. i was shown an app called sniffies, something i had never heard of before. apparently, the gym was a hotspot for casual hookups. it changed how i saw the place. what should have felt routine felt unpredictable. strange, but still not the final straw. the final straw came with a story about hand sanitizer once found in the locker room, filled with cum. it was told casually, almost offhand, like another inconvenience to expect.

that was it.

i quit. and to clarify, it’s not because i couldn’t handle discomfort, but because i didn’t want to confuse risk with resilience.